How Not to Go Crazy

In life, we often face moments when we simply cannot avoid stress or negative feelings. You know, those times when you feel so angry or so lonely that it seems like nobody would even care if you disappeared? Well, I’m in one of those “crazy-times” right now. It’s scary. Sometimes it’s really, really frustrating and painfully lonely. Being far away from everything I know, everyone I love, and all the normal things for over three years hasn’t helped one bit.

I feel like I’ve forgotten what “home” feels like - mainly because I haven’t been home. And even if I went back, home has changed or maybe I did. I haven’t seen my family in so long. You know how we daughters can get easily angry at our fathers? It’s messed up. My mom? She has been through thick and thin with me, helped me through all my moods, encouraged and supported me in all my decisions - right or wrong. And if you have a sister, you know how you’ll miss your bestest friend, and your personal cheerleader. Friends you’ve grown up with start to feel like strangers, and you realise just how much you miss the little things with them. And my boyfriend, sometimes I ache more for his hug than for anything else. Still, there are friends I’ve met here. Even though I haven’t known them for very long, I can be silly with them, and they support me in ways I never imagined I needed. Honestly, I hate being an adult. Why must it be so hard?

But when I sit and type out my thoughts, I feel a little bit like I AM HOME, surrounded by people I love. I feel close to everyone, even when I’m far away. I remind myself why I’m here, picture the look on my parents’ faces when I achieve something, think about my friends cheering me on, or imagine my boyfriend smiling with pride. It makes me realize how loved and lucky I truly am, to have so many amazing people in my life. I really am "crazy-stupid" for forgetting that.

Mmm… so is life.

Until next time,

Aadhya.

P.S. I found this typewriting app that sounds just like a real typewriter, it’s amazing! I might post more often because of this.

P.P.S. To whoever’s reading this, thank you so much. I hope you feel like you belong here, and that in some small way, this helped.